Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Today's word

Today's Word

So I'm not signing up for the Reverb 10 thing seen here, at BrightStar's and here, at Dr. Crazy's, but I thought it might be fun to play along for a bit. So...

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Wow... lots to choose from, but I think the word is really stress. I started the year taking over as department chair rather unexpectedly. I taught as many or more students than all my colleagues combined, plus doing admin stuff, trying (and often failing) to work on my own stuff, and watching everybody else get ahead on research to the point that I began to resent teaching -- the reason I was hired and what I do best. And of course, I beat myself up for it. I beat myself up for a lot of things, apparently. Who knew? Anyway, by mid-summer, I was waking up with clenched fists and feet and had managed to clench my jaws at night even while wearing a bite guard. So... lots of tired. Lots of inefficient use of time and lack of concentration. Lots more beating myself up. Or, to put it bluntly, more stress. And falling behind meant cutting out the gym to catch up ... I assume you're getting the vicious cycle here? Plus weight gain... on-again, off-again relationship, jugglers' balls bouncing everywhere and breaking things... plus a couple of fairly major work-related crises i will not be blogging about. Oh, and that whole buying a house thing.

I cannot wait for this year to be done.

Next year's word: together. Together is what I want to be. Having a grip on my life again, focusing on the right things, getting my head together, my health together, my finances together. And maybe even being together in the relationship sense, if that ends up being an option. Together in the work sense, too, both for me, and in a collegial sense. Together is good, because it's alone without needing others, and also not alone.


Janice said...

You have my sympathies. Your word choice for 2011 sounds like it is a good counter to the problems of 2010!

Another Damned Medievalist said...

Hey, it is what it is. Feeling way better today.

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear it. 'Together' is a damned good choice of word for 2011 and I shall also aim for it. I think 2010's here has been 'manic', though thankfully not in the psychological sense.

Sulpicia said...

I thoroughly sympathize with the choice of 'stress' for this year. Beating yourself up over things is such an addictive habit, and it seems to be thoroughly counter-productive. My goal for next year definitely has to involve a whole lot less of that, though I'm not terribly sure there's a word for it. I've been having trouble with the clenching thing too, and should definitely start looking into a bite guard.