Why am I not as thrilled as I should be?
I just found out that I have a lower teaching load than I was told. 9 hours a week. I've never ever ever contemplated that I'd be in a job where I taught so little. Two preps (four for the year). There is time for scholarly activity!!! And they are paying me!!! and now I have to do it!!!!
Because, yeah. That's the other part. Expectations of scholarly activity have been raised by a somewhat nebulous amount. If we aren't doing "enough", they will give us more courses.
Yeah, I'm a bit nervous.
And I'm kinda thrilled, and kinda excited. But I don't adjust well to my expectations changing quite this rapidly. Give me a couple weeks, and I'll be reminding myself that I've fallen into a very nice situation.
Just another step in the transition from thinking of myself as a teacher to thinking of myself as an actual, full-fledged academic person, I expect. Self perception's a bitch.